Save a Fractured Marriage And Stop Divorce
A fractured marriage is salvageable and doesn't have to end in divorce. More than that, if both spouses truly
want the marriage to work, a fractured marriage can become a great marriage. The irony of life is that most
marriage fractures start with small things that become bigger things over time. The bigger things may be the most
hurtful, but the smaller ones are the ones that must be corrected first in order to prevent a fractured
marriage ending in divorce.
Fortunately, a few small acts can put you back on the path toward a great marriage. No matter how long you've
been married, just showing genuine concern for the other through small acts can go a long ways.
The difficulty of maintaining marriage is often caught up in the details of outside pressures on the marriage.
Job requirements and social commitments can take their toll. Financial difficulties can take an even bigger toll.
Religious differences are particularly hard on a marriage. You may have children to deal with on top of all of
that. But you have to make your marriage a priority above all of those things.
If you think you don't have time for each other, it might be time to start keeping a time log. Compare how much
time you're spending on things that probably aren't as urgent or important as your spouse. Sometimes it is okay to
put off things that have to be done for a few days. This becomes especially apparent when you consider how much
time you're spending away from your spouse.
No matter how important the task or cause toward which you're working, marriage defines your spouse as a primary
responsibility. If you really cannot find the time away from what you're doing to salvage your marriage, find a way
to involve your spouse in what you're doing from time to time. You'll find when you work in a partnership toward
specific goals that you are building a stronger marriage foundation.
Try to take at least a few minutes out of each day to let your spouse know how much you care. As much as
possible communicate your feelings in ways that are particularly meaningful to your spouse. You might be a romantic
poet, but if your spouse is an sports fanatic, taking your spouse to a sporting event may say “I love you” much
better than a poem.
Communication is more than words for most people. When you make the effort to communicate in your spouse's
language, your are communicating your love. Communicate honestly. Seek the truth, even when it hurts. Deliver the
truth gently and with reassurances. State what you want. Never demand anticipation of what you want. Listen to what
your spouse has to say without denigrating. The most common reason for spouses to stop communicating is that they
have been hurt.
If you're doing the small things to communicate your feelings in a way your spouse will understand, you can be
patient and wait for the greater lanes of communication to open up over time. Don't push things along. Rushing your
spouse into uncomfortable situations will not speed things along.
If you want something fixed in your marriage and don't want it to end in a divorce, model what you want. Deliver
to your spouse what you want your spouse to do for you. But frame everything in a language your spouse can
understand. With a dedicated commitment, you can save a fractured marriage and stop a divorce.