Marriage And In Laws
You are so happy that you found the love of your life and you adore your new in laws and his other
relatives. You want to focus on your new family, though, so dealing with the in laws can be difficult and cause
A lot of marriages end in divorce due to the interference of extended family. Having the in laws turn
into the reason for a divorce is a really sad thing but it happens a lot more often than you may think.
You may think your spouse is the only one you are married to but after a while, it seems like you married his
whole family! You have a lot of people trying to give you their opinions about your marriage.
You should never make the mistake of discussing private issues in your marriage with either your family or your
in laws. This lets the family members think it is okay for them to interfere. It is also isolating the privacy of
your spouse and the intimate details of your marriage. Talk to a professional counselor if you need to discuss any
kind of problems in your marriage.
Stopping by Unannounced
Your in laws can be a big problem. If you and your spouse want to have private time at home together, it can be
very disruptive when family members and relatives stop by without calling. You and your spouse may find it hard to
get time alone with each other. This is a very common problem that married couples have with their family. It may
seem that your relatives choose the worst possible times to stop by and you don’t understand why they do it because
they live pretty far away.
If you have meddling family members, it can be very stressful on your marriage. Even though they mean well, the
unwanted advice and getting involved in your personal problems can put a strain on your relationship with your
spouse. It is not unusual for a spouse to find out that a family member is giving his or her partner advice that is
actually making the relationship worse instead of better.
This happens every day to couples all around the world. A relative who visits you for lengthy periods of time
can cause problems by criticizing the way you do things, spreading rumors about your marriage to other family
members, and being critical of your spouse. This is very destructive to a marriage.
Set Up a Schedule For Your Marriage and In Laws
If you want to end the unannounced visits from your in laws and other relatives and give your marriage some
space to work, you need to create boundaries. You should discuss with relatives setting up a time that they can
come by and visit with you. You and your spouse can decide if you want to give them a specific time or a window of
time. This is not an easy conversation to have especially if it is with a relative to whom you are very close.
However, setting boundaries is going to help your marriage and your relationship with your spouse.
It is up to you as a couple to talk about how the different relatives are going to play a role in your
relationship. If you and your spouse can discuss this openly and honestly, it will reaffirm your commitment to each
other and your marriage. It shows you are willing to do what it takes to avoid family interference.
What do you do if your spouse doesn't recognize a connection with the problems in your marraige and in laws and
refuses to put boundaries on relatives? You should consider working with a marriage counselor if this is your
situation so you don’t let anger and resentment build up.
This is a last resort that should be used when you have tried everything you can to keep relatives from
interfering in your relationship and your spouse is not willing to help. Don’t just bottle up your feelings and
suffer in silence because that won’t help your marriage.
Express Love the Right Way
When the in laws are driving you crazy, they are usually trying the best they know how to express their love.
They don’t see showing up unannounced and staying for long periods of time as an issue. You have to be approach
this topic with them in a sensitive way so you don’t alienate them.
The best thing is for you and your spouse to be on the same page and to talk to relatives together about the
boundaries you are setting for them. That way, they cannot say either of you are to blame. You should set up
boundaries with relatives in the early years of your marriage.
A marriage and in laws often don’t mix. Don't let relatives ruin your marriage because that happens far too
often. It is possible to stop divorce if you set boundaries with relatives early on and don’t let them interfere in
your married life.