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Midlife Crisis and Your Marriage

There are many jokes out there about having a midlife crisis but it is no laughing matter for many people. A midlife crisis can lead a person to question everything about his life. It can also make a person feel that he is running out of time and that he is trapped on the road to old age. A lot of people who feel this way act out in ways they did at a younger age.

The things that most people do during a midlife crisis are mild and don’t hurt anyone. A man may trade in his truck for a fast convertible when he turns 50. This may make his wife mad because the convertible is too fast and is not good for running errands. However, the wife usually relents and he keeps the car. Some things that people do during a midlife crisis (e.g., having an affair with a younger man or woman) can wreck havoc on a marriage and cause it to end in divorce.

As we get older, we develop a stronger sense of time. It feels like time is flying by quickly. When a person experiences a midlife crisis, he starts to make comparisons between what he wanted out of life when he was younger and what his life is like right now. Usually, these are very different and that leads people to feel dissatisfied and feel like they need to act on their feelings.

The Feeling of Being Trapped

Many people who experience a midlife crisis start feeling trapped by their marriage. The reasons this occurs is that they start to see their spouse in a different way. The spouse becomes someone who has been part of their life for years and years and the relationship has become routine. People feel like they have compromised too much for their spouse. People can easily start blaming their spouse for the fact that they did not reach all the goals they had when they were young. Maybe your spouse didn’t want you to take that dream job or your spouse wouldn’t move across the country with you for a job.

During a midlife crisis, people start feeling like they are running out of time to reach the goals they have for their life. They are also fighting against time because they are not ready to be "old". They feel like they need to use the time they have now to live the life they want and act out in ways that appear young and irresponsible.

Make Your Midlife Great

For many people, the midlife years are when they enjoy their life the most. It can be a time to build a stronger marriage by enjoying the time you have with your spouse and looking back at all the wonderful experiences you have shared together over the years. The midlife years can be a time of freedom for a couple because their children are out of the home and on their own. You and your spouse can do all the things you have always wanted to do but couldn’t.

The midlife years are also a time for couples to enjoy a wonderful sex life. It is a common misconception that only the young have sexual desire and physical needs. This is a time when you and your spouse can spend more time enjoying each other physically because you don’t have to focus on work and children. Also, as people get older they often gain more confidence in the way they look.

The sad fact is  that too many people feel they need to break their marriage vows to cope with a midlife crisis. If you pull away from your spouse, you are going to be unhappy in your relationship and possibly get divorced. If you start to act as if you are young again, you can end up hurting your spouse. Your spouse will feel like he or she is too old for you and not of value to you anymore.

Time is Not Running Out

A midlife crisis is something that happens to many people but the key is to choose the best way to respond to the crisis so you keep your relationship healthy. A midlife crisis can cause a lot of trauma to a relationship especially if an affair occurs or if someone starts being irresponsible with money. When you see your spouse acting in a way that is hurting you or your relationship, you need to have an open and honest discussion with him or her.

You should enjoy your midlife years. The time is going by fast but that does not mean you are running out of time to live your life. If there are still goals you want to reach in your life, you can use the time you have to work on these goals and do things you enjoy.

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