Don't Let Your Insecurity About What Your Partner Did in the Past Ruin Your
A lot of people have no issues concerning the past actions of their partner. They know that was a long time ago
so they don’t feel that it affects their relationship now. Some people are insecure about their partner's past,
though. Perhaps you are one of those people. Know that there are many others in the same boat. You have probably
heard that you just have to deal with it but that's easier said than done.
You need to determine what is making you feel insecure about your partner’s past. Do you get jealous easily?
Does it upset you to imagine your partner’s past? Are you afraid you cannot measure up to the people your partner
has been with in the past because you have less experience with sex? Are you afraid of your partner cheating on
There is a way to deal with your insecurity no matter what is causing it. The following are some tips to help
you mentally overcome your issues.
1. Don’t demand your partner to reassure you constantly. When you do this, your partner will get annoyed. You
are also not taking responsibility for your insecurity and dealing with it on your own. You may feel better when
your partner tells you not to worry because no one in his or her past can compare to you but that only lasts for a
short time and it doesn’t resolve your insecurity issues.
2. Don’t dwell on your partner’s past. Get rid of the destructive thoughts about your partner’s relationships
with others of any kind. You will have to work on this but it is an important step in learning to accept your
partner. Worrying about the past is not helpful.
3. Provide yourself with reassurance. If you have troubled thoughts and doubts, tell yourself that your partner
loves you and has chosen to be with you so the past doesn’t matter. If you handle your troubling thoughts in this
manner, it will become a habit and you will find that the thoughts bother you less and less.
4. Focus on the present, not the past. If you and your partner have a strong relationship, why destroy it by
focusing on the past? Your partner’s past does not involve you but you are part of his or her present and
potentially the future. That is what you should think about. Enjoy the time you have together and don’t ruin what
you have built with negative thoughts.
5. Let it go! Don’t forget that you also have a past just like your partner and there is nothing that can be done
about it. You can’t control the past but you are in control of your future. If you start to get upset about the
past, tell yourself to let it go. The insecurity isn’t real; it is just your mind focusing on the wrong thing. If
you let the insecurity win, you can ruin a truly great relationship.
These five suggestions can help you overcome your insecurity and focus on the future you have with your partner
instead of the past that you cannot change.