Apologizing Can Help You Win Back Your Ex
You may be surprised how much power a simple apology has when it is sincere. An apology can undo a lot of wrongs
between two people. On the other hand, an insincere apology or one that is given in order to manipulate someone may
end up making things much worse in a relationship.
You have to do more than just say, "I'm sorry" if you want to win your ex back. Most likely, your ex is going to
know that the only reason you are apologizing is that you want to win him or her back, not because you are truly
sorry for what you have done. If you are going to give your ex an apology, you need to figure out what the apology
is for and be sure you are sincere.
It is true that an apology is meant to tell someone you know you did something wrong. However, an apology should do
more. It has to show the person you are apologizing to that you know you are responsible for the problems you
What usually happens when someone apologizes to his or her partner? That person probably says, "I am sorry, but..."
That is the reason a simple apology is not enough to mend a relationship. If you say the dreaded "but" word after
an apology, you are telling your ex that although you made mistakes, he or she is also partially to blame for what
happened. In order to give a sincere apology that someone believes, it is important you admit that you are the only
one responsible for what you did.
A sincere and heartfelt apology should contain the following:
1. You have to show empathy for the way you made your ex feel with what you did. You can say, "I know I made you
very angry." Your ex may say something like, "Yes, I was really angry and upset with you" or "I was more aggravated
than angry." As long as you let your ex say his or her piece, it will be helpful. When you listen to your ex's
feelings, you are showing your ex that you understand what you did to hurt him or her.
2. You need to open up about what you did to upset your ex. If you lied about going to a certain club with friends
because your ex didn’t want you to go there, come clean. Explain to your ex why you did what you did.
3. Talk about the way you feel about how you behaved. You could tell your ex that you did not enjoy yourself at the
club because you were feeling guilty about not telling him or her the truth. Make sure you say you are sorry but
also admit that saying that doesn’t make things better.
4. Tell your ex that you are very sorry but also let your ex know you don’t expect forgiveness. Don’t make excuses
for your behavior because your ex has already heard you say what you have to say. Just tell your ex you know saying
sorry is not enough but you really do mean it.
If you are not sincere with your apology, it is not going to work. Your ex will be able to tell if you are simply
apologizing in order to make him or her think you are sorry for what you did. Your ex is only going to be
even more upset with you for doing this.
You have to think about what you have done and said that hurt your ex in order to give a sincere apology. A
sincere apology may be the first step to saving your relationship so remember these tips and use them!